death

WHAT in the WORLD am I doing!?

Posted by on Mar 23, 2015 in blogging, CFS, death, Depression, disability, Dreams and Visions, Emotion, Family, Faster EFT, Fibromyalgia, healing, heart, humor, Recovery, Tapping | 0 comments

WHAT in the WORLD am I doing!?

Why am I indoors on a gorgeously sunny spring Saturday? I could be hiking the Tallgrass Prairie but instead I am vacuuming the 1894 wood plank library sub-floor of an historic old house. WHY? I enjoy the mindlessness of the work and a special feeling of being a tiny part of the restoration of a grand old house. I would be doing this for my own Victorian house if I had not bought the family mid-century house my dad built. Yes, I have work to do at home, but I need a break from the emotion involved there. Methodically and meticulously I vacuum wood shards and sawdust out of cracks and pull...

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Two Remarkable Surprises

Posted by on Mar 14, 2014 in death, Family, Faster EFT, healing, Japan, Tapping | 0 comments

Jin Shin Jyutsu (JSJ) is a remarkable surprise. I have an hour of reflexology and an hour of JSJ. During the hour process of JSJ we don’t talk, there is no music, just lovely silence. Afterward I feel like I’ve had a full body massage. The only massage done was on my feet, nowhere else. After a light supper I sit at my MacBook in the dining room and fully notice the sensations in my body. It’s almost indescribable, since I’ve never felt quite like it before. It is a sense of every cell in my body having equal energy movement. I feel inwardly balanced, integrated and harmonious. I am aware of...

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Trash Or Treasure

Posted by on Mar 2, 2014 in death, Family, healing, pace | 0 comments

While making Maple Mocha my progression of thoughts led to a metaphoric big picture. After I sat down in the dining room to write, cardinals landed on the patio. Wow! I’ve never seen them so close to the house. They usually hang out in the yard. Now a huge red one landed on the patio table, and a small female. They keep flying away and coming back. I have no idea how many of them there are, because it is not the same ones that keep coming back. They each have a unique look to them either in color, weight or size. What a wonderful gift! I wonder what this nature message is for me today. Now...

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Don’t Hold Yourself Back

Posted by on Mar 1, 2014 in cancer, CFS, death, Depression, disability, EBV, Emotion, Family, Faster EFT, Fibromyalgia, healing, Japan, Linda Esser, Mono, pace, pain, Recovery, Robert Smith, Tapping, trauma, travel | 0 comments

Watching Tiffany and Heather is great for a lot of people, but there will be some who cannot relate to their stories when they can relate to others or mine. My parents were mostly calm, loving, supportive and encouraging. My childhood traumas were not so dramatic. There was no alcohol or drugs, no death threats or rape. Still, somehow I picked up some patterns of belief and behavior that led to similar symptoms showing up in my body. I know there are thousands like me who will not be able to relate to extremely violent childhoods. Those are the people I hope to reach. The world needs to hear...

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Keep It Simple

Posted by on Feb 24, 2014 in blogging, death, Emotion, Faster EFT, healing, Linda Esser, Recovery, Spirit, Tapping, travel | 0 comments

Saturday I knew I wanted to pack and leave OKC as soon as possible so I did. I played with ideas in my head about what to do when I get home? I thought I still needed to sit with myself. As soon as I got home to an empty house all I knew is that I didn’t want to sit here alone yet. I had just spent four hours driving alone. Even after a week full of socializing and helping people I didn’t feel an intense need for silence or alone time. If Mother were here it would be different, but she’s not. I think it affected me more on this return than in October. I also noticed I felt Linda’s physical...

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Mining For Gold Nuggets

Posted by on Jan 7, 2014 in Alaska, blogging, death, Depression, disability, Tapping, trauma | 0 comments

I read from my 2001 journals for most of yesterday.  I think and hope that my writing has improved since then. At least I approach my Morning Pages differently. I gave up the rigid practice of writing only stream of consciousness. I do so much thought observation as a daily practice I’m fairly clear on what the repetitions are. I have mostly let go of my resistance to the palaver about the romantic fantasy landscapes that I used to dwell on. I wish now I had spent more time writing about how wonderful the Alaska landscapes are. Those are the nuggets I am mining for. Once again, the book...

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