death

A Safe Yoga Home

Posted by on May 4, 2015 in death, disability, Emotion, Faster EFT, healing, heart, Linda Esser, Recovery, Spirit, Tapping | 0 comments

A Safe Yoga Home

I grab the yoga mat I inherited from Linda Esser and head out the door in her yoga pants. I only used them for lounging until now. It feels weird to be in public in lounge pants. The Heart Center Studio is my third ever Yoga class. It’s my first time to experience it as a blend of body-mind with meditative reading and music. A myriad of physical and emotional responses arise. I’m glad Jennifer starts us with the Child’s Pose that comes naturally though I never learned it before. It’s interesting that some personal intuitive practices are Yoga. Jennifer reads beautifully inspiring words. What if our religion was each other If our practice was our life If prayer, our words What if the temple was the Earth If forests were our church If holy water—the rivers, lakes, and ocean What if meditation was our relationships If the teacher was life If wisdom was self-knowledge If love was the center of our being. ~ Ganga White This is what I imagined yoga would be, the integration of physical and spiritual practices. I was inspired by the movie AWAKE: The Life of Yogananda. It gave me a better understanding. Yoga is about preparing the body for meditation, to become a clear channel for Divine Inspiration and finding my personal guru within. Waves of thoughts and emotions roll through me. Jennifer suggests a return to the Child’s Pose if needed. Ah! Safety is always encouraged. I watch and imitate as best I can, but don’t stay in sync with the class. During a movement she says, “…if it is available to you today…” and likewise honors herself. As my face comes downward on Linda’s mat I notice an automatic thought flash. Linda loved yoga, but it didn’t heal her, she still died at 50. Tears spurt out my eyes and I mentally tap, embracing and releasing the emotions. Jennifer names and guides us into familiar poses. I learned them with another friend on her Wii in 2010 when she could still stand, albeit wobbly. Now she is confined to a wheelchair. On a recent visit she spelled out on her alphabet board “Diagnosis Terminal.” Yoga didn’t heal her or Steve Jobs either. What else could I do for three years disabled except become body-mind aware while living from a reclining position? My awareness now is on grateful amazement. Years after recovery I am able to flow with Yoga for 45 minutes before I need a break to check in with myself. I’m here to learn Yoga because I’ve healed with the mind-body work of FasterEFT. I can integrate yoga with my skills and go deeper to release mental/emotional connections that arise. A large plaque in the corner reads, “I will hold myself to a standard of Grace not perfection.” I feel fresh air blowing in and from a different position in the room notice the five-panel mural stretched across the wall. Each panel is integrated with a beautiful image of an expansive tree against my beloved colors. It reminds me of the Tree Metaphor we use in FasterEFT. Jennifer invites the class back to the Child’s Pose, and I notice it’s safe to return to my mat. I continue with what feels safe but expands my body-mind-spirit. The grateful joy that spontaneously washed over me near the beginning of class returns for an encore. Finally, I have found my way to a safe yoga home. http://www.heartcenterstudio.com © Copyright B. Grace Jones 2015 All Rights Reserved....

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WHAT in the WORLD am I doing!?

Posted by on Mar 23, 2015 in blogging, CFS, death, Depression, disability, Dreams and Visions, Emotion, Family, Faster EFT, Fibromyalgia, healing, heart, humor, Recovery, Tapping | 0 comments

WHAT in the WORLD am I doing!?

Why am I indoors on a gorgeously sunny spring Saturday? I could be hiking the Tallgrass Prairie but instead I am vacuuming the 1894 wood plank library sub-floor of an historic old house. WHY? I enjoy the mindlessness of the work and a special feeling of being a tiny part of the restoration of a grand old house. I would be doing this for my own Victorian house if I had not bought the family mid-century house my dad built. Yes, I have work to do at home, but I need a break from the emotion involved there. Methodically and meticulously I vacuum wood shards and sawdust out of cracks and pull nails while I inquire within. Ross had briefly asked, “Do you really want to…do you like doing this…?” I haven’t given him an answer, partly because I haven’t yet formulated the words to help him understand. People don’t comprehend how comfortable I am in construction zones, because I grew up in a home perpetually under construction. Maybe that is one reason why I am drawn to helping Ross. I realize it is a complex combination of motives even I may not quite understand. Something gave me hope the first time I read The Emporia Gazette, March 2014, New owner gives breath to historic Emporia home. It was during my shadows of grief and depression, still reeling from Mother’s absence in our house and other deeply rooted family issues that insisted on my attention. It was an inexplicable moment that defies human understanding when I read the article’s every word. My mind’s eye can still see a photo of Ross’s silhouette inside the cavernous hull of the Cross House staircase. I noticed an unusual feeling that I want to be there and meet this man. Reading about Ross’s vintage lighting business, I looked for a way to connect. I desperately need new mid-century lighting for my house. I checked out his eBay store, sent him an email, but got no reply. Since I believe everything happens in Divine Order and Perfect Timing, I didn’t think much more about it. By summer, again I reinvented my life and took action to get out and live in my Emporia hometown, not just inside my family’s house. I volunteered for Dirty Kanza 200 and it changed me. I kept working on lots of emotional healing and by fall I spoke my truth to others. I finally had the big shift in October when again I stood up for myself about the concrete staircase resurfacing. Isn’t it interesting how house restoration can be a metaphor for personal restoration? January 3, 2015 I saw another Gazette article Hidden Emporia with Ross MacTaggart giving an inside tour of the old post office. He seems to be an architectural expert! I recognize his name and it was immediately confirmed in an adjacent story about The Cross House renovation moves along. Oh My God! (OMG!) I dove into every word and learn Ross has a blog. What have I missed!? Again I took immediate action, engaged in making blog comments that include self-disclosure about growing up in my Emporia mid-century home. Mine may be the house Ross couldn’t find when he bought The Cross House. Again, now why am I inside preparing a floor to be covered with oak? Because I CAN! I am no longer confined to a bed or an elaborately cushioned recliner that I can’t get up from without an intensely careful plan. OMG! I CAN help someone else, for no good reason other than I want to be of service to what I believe is a remarkable and highly visible improvement to my...

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Two Remarkable Surprises

Posted by on Mar 14, 2014 in death, Family, Faster EFT, healing, Japan, Tapping | 0 comments

Jin Shin Jyutsu (JSJ) is a remarkable surprise. I have an hour of reflexology and an hour of JSJ. During the hour process of JSJ we don’t talk, there is no music, just lovely silence. Afterward I feel like I’ve had a full body massage. The only massage done was on my feet, nowhere else. After a light supper I sit at my MacBook in the dining room and fully notice the sensations in my body. It’s almost indescribable, since I’ve never felt quite like it before. It is a sense of every cell in my body having equal energy movement. I feel inwardly balanced, integrated and harmonious. I am aware of every part of my body equally and simultaneously. Nothing demands my attention more than anything else. Everything is in unison of flowing and relaxing. I am so relaxed I just want to go to sleep but I have Skype to Japan. I rest ten minutes and am completely normal and present for the Skype call. We keep it short since they have project time soon. The kids want to jump rope outside. It is great fun to watch. After we say goodbye I feel sensations like tiredness, but it’s not the same. I look at how many video clips I have and need to sort them while it is fresh in mind. I watch a YouTube clip of Biology of Belief that is Bruce Lipton’s voice with illustrative images. I learn something new when he describes how some cells after creating a caterpillar commit suicide because they have done their work and fear they aren’t needed. They can’t see the vision that the other cells do of how to produce the butterfly. That afternoon I saw a timely newspaper headline that the suicide rate in Kansas has increased 53% in 12 years. It underlines the cellular metaphor Lipton placed over our society. I answer a quick email from a client and then get ready for bed. I guess the sensations are really that of relaxation and not being tired, but it is hard to discern between them. I feel similar sensations after a full night of good sleep, but I am not tired. It’s a sense of complete whole body relaxation. It’s different than any massage and I have no aches because I tapped on them. After the Jin Shin Jyutsu session I am more convinced that with the core group of energy workers right here in Emporia, we can create something really wonderful. People will travel great distances to receive healing skills and experiences in the wonderful space of the Flint Hills. — © Copyright B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights...

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Trash Or Treasure

Posted by on Mar 2, 2014 in death, Family, healing, pace | 0 comments

While making Maple Mocha my progression of thoughts led to a metaphoric big picture. After I sat down in the dining room to write, cardinals landed on the patio. Wow! I’ve never seen them so close to the house. They usually hang out in the yard. Now a huge red one landed on the patio table, and a small female. They keep flying away and coming back. I have no idea how many of them there are, because it is not the same ones that keep coming back. They each have a unique look to them either in color, weight or size. What a wonderful gift! I wonder what this nature message is for me today. Now the cardinals are all around the back yard, planter and stone bench. I hope they come back in the spring and use the nest they built last summer in the honeysuckle. A cardinal just tried to land at the top center of the patio door, but flew away because he couldn’t get a hold of anything. It was nice to see the image of his open wings fluttering in front of me. As I write I continue to stay in the present moment with the cardinals. I have changed my life and re-invented myself many times before. I used a version of the process Joe Dispenza describes when I prepared to move to Alaska, before I even had a job there. I remember the thought processes I used and followed it up with action on a daily basis. Even if it was just to make one phone call, I moved forward toward the goal at least one small action a day until I succeeded. I can use the same process again for my book. I can teach others how to use it, too, but I can’t do it for them, they have to do it for themselves by choice and will. The unconscious pulls in from both the recent and distant past, so many references simultaneously or in a rapid succession to arrive at an ah-ha moment. It seems cumbersome to describe it now. I arrived at a metaphor of putting stuff I don’t want in the book, just like I am sorting and clearing the physical stuff left in this house. Our parents left us the family heirlooms thinking we want or need them. The truth is we don’t need all this stuff. We keep the good stuff, but the junk we give to charity and they sell it to other people who are thrilled to get our old stuff. This is not coming out in words the way it arrived in my mind. The point is that my book is about letting go of some old junk I don’t use anymore, like a huge rummage sale. Everyone is scavenging through someone else’s old trash and they find something that is a treasure to them. They will find treasures in my book and some of my trash. It is the stuff I had to go through, sort and clear out in order to create a treasure of life for myself now. Plus I explain the process of how I sort through it to let it go, so they will know how to let go of their trash too. It gives me a helpful concept to hold onto and motivate me to keep moving my trash out of my life, both emotionally and physically. Our parents gave us the best they could. Yes there is trash mixed in and it takes a lot of sorting to discover treasures, which sometimes show up in...

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Don’t Hold Yourself Back

Posted by on Mar 1, 2014 in cancer, CFS, death, Depression, disability, EBV, Emotion, Family, Faster EFT, Fibromyalgia, healing, Japan, Linda Esser, Mono, pace, pain, Recovery, Robert Smith, Tapping, trauma, travel | 0 comments

Watching Tiffany and Heather is great for a lot of people, but there will be some who cannot relate to their stories when they can relate to others or mine. My parents were mostly calm, loving, supportive and encouraging. My childhood traumas were not so dramatic. There was no alcohol or drugs, no death threats or rape. Still, somehow I picked up some patterns of belief and behavior that led to similar symptoms showing up in my body. I know there are thousands like me who will not be able to relate to extremely violent childhoods. Those are the people I hope to reach. The world needs to hear my voice and the others. The Universe spoke to me through a man on the Friends dance floor, “Don’t hold yourself back.” I already have whatever I need within me to get this done. The Universe has set me up for it. The time is now. Set my intention, keep moving through it, do whatever it takes, tap through every resistance or fear, alternate with play and fun to keep pulling myself out of the past muck that I must write about in order to help others. Then I can use my book as support to help my clients when they get frustrated after tapping for six months and they aren’t completely healed yet. Neither was I? I was just beginning to have abilities to do things like paint for two hours in my kitchen. After six months of daily tapping I began practitioner training. I still had to pace myself carefully, tapping my way through fatigue and pain that still lingered. At first, the weekly trips from Kansas to OKC were four days. I kept an easy pace with a day on either side to relax, have fun or work for Robert before and after classes. By the time I finished training six months later, I could drive down the same day for the Monday night class, spend one night and drive 250 miles home after class on Tuesday night. It was amazing to me that I had changed that much in six months and by then I had been tapping for a year. I slowly increased my work hours until I was virtually working full time at building my FasterEFT practice. It was more than another year after that before I discontinued my disability benefits. I recently helped a client make a lot of big changes in her life. After tapping for six months she was frustrated that she’s not completely symptom-free yet. She is focused on what she can’t do instead of all the amazing progress. To those who are impatient with their progress, I suggest let go of the expectations you have of getting a certain outcome by a certain time. I never set that up in my head so my speed of progress was never a disappointment. I stayed in the present moment of the progress I had made, always practicing gratitude for how far I had come from where I began. I had no one to compare myself to, which I can see now was a real blessing. I was just forging ahead like a pioneer, tapping my way through everything I didn’t want and continued to practice gratitude every step of the way for each little improvement. Not everyone will heal as fast as Heather and Tiffany, and they are not completely healed yet either. They are still working on stuff. Yes FasterEFT can create fast changes but sometimes changes can be very slow or even invisible. You may not even know something...

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Keep It Simple

Posted by on Feb 24, 2014 in blogging, death, Emotion, Faster EFT, healing, Linda Esser, Recovery, Spirit, Tapping, travel | 0 comments

Saturday I knew I wanted to pack and leave OKC as soon as possible so I did. I played with ideas in my head about what to do when I get home? I thought I still needed to sit with myself. As soon as I got home to an empty house all I knew is that I didn’t want to sit here alone yet. I had just spent four hours driving alone. Even after a week full of socializing and helping people I didn’t feel an intense need for silence or alone time. If Mother were here it would be different, but she’s not. I think it affected me more on this return than in October. I also noticed I felt Linda’s physical absence and spiritual presence more at this seminar than before. Unloading and carrying clothes up the front steps I heard a vehicle stop in the street behind me. It was my neighbor and friend who called out “Welcome home Grace.” How sweet! I called out, “Thank you and thanks for everything,” since she had watched the house. It was after 5:30 and I knew they were headed off to do something fun on a Saturday evening and that’s what I want to do. As soon as everything was in the house, I did not unpack. I tapped a little, but knew I just wanted to be with my hometown friends. I went to the phone and kept calling friends until I found one available to meet for a visit at Mulready’s. We sat and talked for almost two hours. We shared where we each are on our spiritual paths. It’s about being the observer of the creator; notice how we create what we don’t want. Then just stop, shift and begin to focus on the good stuff and create what we do want. We agree we are on parallel paths practicing the same concepts using different skills to arrive at the same resolution. I haven’t posted to my blog for two days now. I need the break. I’ m not sure I want to spend my day that way. I will stay in the flow of the moment. Maybe it is time to return to the book and slow down on the blog, or somehow figure out how to do both. Everything is in Divine Order and I needed this last two months to shift from thinking that I need to use new fancy techniques in order to heal and help others heal. I don’t. A client/practitioner helped me see that, too. They had a lot of sessions with other practitioners during the week and said that even with all the fancy stuff others use, the deepest changes were with me using the basics and cleaning up all the sub-modalities. That is the piece I need before I return to the book. Just keep it simple. The basics are what healed me. If you know correctly how to use the basics, don’t worry about the fancy stuff. I have returned to the basics for my self-healing. Thanks to Eric Robins for the reminder. — © Copyright B. Grace Jones 2014 All Rights Reserved....

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